Rude Epiphany!

So since I’ve been out of town for two weeks (yay employment), I missed a “signature required” package that FedEx Ground tried to deliver. I got a nice little card in the mail stating that I can call in to schedule a pick-up at the local shipping station.

All the steps executed, I ended up at the huge facility by Texas Stadium with a big security shack, trucks of all sizes rumbling in’n'out of the front gate, etc.

They have two security guards manning the shack. The entire time I’m there, employees are coming’n'going in a slow trickle (about one every 5min). All departing employees have to go through security much like airport security checkpoints — metal objects in dishes, all bags searched, a quick trip through the metal detector. The guards aren’t your run-of-the-mill TSA-esque trolls, these two (one male, one female) weren’t bodyguard material but they were fairly aware of their jobs, protocols, and what was happening around them.

So the routine for me to pick up my package goes as follows:
1) Security guard pages “QA, call [extension]”
2) when white phone in front of me rings, I get to pick it up and give the caller my tracking number
3) someone shows up in a golf cart with my package(s)
4) proper ID is given, paperwork is signed, and off I go with package(s)

It takes about 10min between phone conversation and someone shows up with my package. Just as the “QA” person appears, another non-employee walks in with a small slip of paper in-hand. Security looks at him and The New Guy says that he’s there to pick up a package. Security points at the QA guy, who’s filling out my paperwork, and declare that “he’s the man to talk to, he’ll take care of you. No point in calling since he’s here.”

The QA guy overhears this, looks up, and says, “just a second.”

I sign the paperwork. As I grab my package, the other non-employee hands Mr. QA the “door card.” He looks at it, looks up and says, “Xbox.”

The two security folks stop what they’re doing, look at Mr. QA and then look at Mr. Non-employee. He nods and smiles an affirmation, at which the security guy turns to Mr. QA and asks, “how did you know?”

“You see these tracking numbers, when they start with ‘769283′, they’re from Mexico or Taiwan or whatever, but they’re always Xboxes.”

I wasn’t paying much attention to this discussion, and at this point I hit the door and was heading to my car. The thing that idly popped into my head was “yeah, if you see enough of these, you’re bound to know the oddest details.”

About ten minutes later, as I’m driving down the road, I thought to myself, “he could identify the contents!?!”

(For those of you that do not know, I travel a little bit for work, usually about one week a month I’m not home.)

Baggage Claim Lottery (BCL) is a game you play with co-travelers at the luggage claim carousel. It is based on the relative arrival times of luggage compared to other participants. The game requires minimal preparation, which only involves agreeing on the rules and rewards/penalties. BCL can be initiated with any person at any time, until the first bag appears at the luggage claim.

Participants are categorized into two groups: Multiple-baggage players (MBPs) and Single-baggage players (SBPs). Score is tallied by counting the number of items that come out of baggage claim system ahead of all of the participants items.

MBPs are scored based on their worst score (when their last item was collected).

A score of 0 goes to the SBP who’s item was the first one out, also considered a “perfect hit.” By nature of the scoring system, MBPs can never receive a “perfect hit.”

If an item arrived on an earlier flight and is in the “baggage pen”, this item is not considered for scoring. If said item belongs to a SBP, this player neither receives a reward nor suffers a penalty.

A “crap-out” is when an item does not arrive and the player must speak to a human (employee of the airline) before leaving the airport.

If only one MBP draws a “crap-out”, this player is immediately the loser (regardless of SBP crap-outs). This is called the “mea culpa” rule.

If multiple MBPs draw a “crap-out”, these players share the “loser” penalty (again, regardless of SBP crap-outs).

If multiple SBPs draw a “crap-out” and no MBPs draw a “crap-out”, the scoring is reversed and the “winner” (with lowest score) becomes the “loser.” This is called the “poor saps” rule.

Prizes are flexible and should be determined in advance. We strongly recommend good sportsmanship — a loser due to a “crap-out” will not be in the mood to buy the first round of drinks once you reach a pub (for example). A recommended prize would be buying the “winner” the first round (cost distributed across other players).