During AIT, I hit it off with a Corporal that was re-classing from infantry to my MOS after a few years of service. When they started talking about our “field week”, we agreed that we’d pair up.

We get to the field, the NCO in charge of “field week” called for us to pair up and everyone did. He looked everyone over and then declared, “uh, no. The corporal is with me in the NCO tent. Find another BB.” By that time, everyone had paired up and I got stuck with the one nobody wanted. He wasn’t too bright, bless his heart. I figured, “well, I got enough smarts for both of us, so I’ll take lead and keep him in line.”

As a kid, I’ve gone camping during all seasons of the year in NE Oklahoma. This was November in SW Missouri, so I knew we were in for nasty cold and morning dew or frost. When we set up the tent, I walked him through every step like I would an 8yo kid. This included trenching around the perimeter and burying the bottom edge of the canvas.

Come nightfall, it was time to turn in. I got myself situated and he followed my lead — simple things; pad first, sleeping bag on top, rucks above your head, use your gas mask for a pillow, etc. I crawled in the bag, stripped down, kicked my clothes to the foot of the bag, and fished out the walkman from my ruck.

My Battle Buddy was still laying on top of his sleeping bag, which I thought was odd. I figured he had to go take a crap or something and wanted to wait to jump into the fartsack. I got his attention and asked, “need anything?” (afterall, I packed a roll of butt-paper, maybe he didn’t).

“No, I’m good.”

“Ok, well, I’m gonna jam out until I fall asleep. If you need anything, reach over and give me a shake. I won’t be able to hear you.”

“Ok, thanks.”

I fired up the tunes and fell asleep. Every time I looked over, he never moved from on top of his sleeping bag.

Come morning, he was gone. His ruck and bag were still there and we were staying all week, so I didn’t think much of it. Maybe he was an early riser.

Morning formation, NCO formed us up and then asked everyone, “Who is Private Hagar’s Battle Buddy?” (fake name, don’t remember his real name) Oh hell, what now?

I raised my hand, “That would be me, Sergeant!”

“Perhaps you need to give your Battle Buddy a block of instruction on proper use of Bag, Sleeping, Extreme Cold Weather.”

“My mistake Sergeant, what point did I fail to touch?”

“He informed me that he couldn’t figure out how to crawl into that ‘tiny hole’ at the end of the bag.”

Everyone broke out laughing and when we settled down he gave us the rest of the story.

Apparently in the middle of the night he went into the NCO tent, which has a little potbelly wood-burning stove, to warm up “before heading back to his own tent.” The Sergeant asked him several questions about the gear he was issued and finally got the problem teased out of him.